The Stanley Parable: 8 Best Quotes

The Stanley Parable is a PC classic and one of the best video games where gameplay is virtually non-existent. It's a game that hooks you in simply through its meta narrator, intricate story paths, and a number of endings that will make you question the reality and importance of your choices.

In a game like this, the quotes are everything. There are moments of narrator monologue in this game that will stick with you long after you've finished playing. There's even an achievement for not playing the game at all. Here are some of the funniest, most interesting, and most thoughtful moments in The Stanley Parable.

8 The Broom Closet

“Are you… Are you really still in the broom closet? Standing around doing nothing? Why?”

In the earliest section of The Stanley Parable, when you're still on the upper floors of the office building, you'll come across an ordinary broom closet. And that's it.

There's literally nothing special about the broom closet. Except for the fact that the narrator will tell you this and get increasingly agitated with you if you remain in the broom closet after he's already told you nothing will happen and that you should move on.

7 Stanley In The Employee Lounge

“At this point, Stanley’s obsession with this room bordered on creepy and reflected poorly on his overall personality. It’s possible that this is why everyone left.”

This is another case where going in a direction the narrator tells you leads to nothing interesting actually leads to nothing interesting. Hilariously enough, both times, if you wait around long enough, the narrator will begin to insult you for standing around and doing nothing for no good reason.

In this case, the narrator even makes a point to theorize that Stanley's coworkers mysteriously disappeared because they all thought Stanley was weird.

6 Some Calming New Age Music

“Stanley was in such a rush to get through the story as quickly as possible, he didn’t even have a single minute to just LET THE NARRATOR TALK.”

If you enter the room pictured above and enter the passcode on the wall faster than the narrator can talk you through, he'll get very frustrated with how quickly you're trying to blow through his story.

Shortly after this, he'll deduce that you're stressed and put on some calming new age music to try and ease the tension. Interestingly enough, it's not even the best music easter egg in the game.

5 Choice. The Best Part Of Being A Real Person.

“I’m going to stop the game for a moment so we can educate you properly on safe decision-making in the real world. Please observe this helpful instructional video.”

The Stanley Parable is very meta, but maybe never so meta as when the narrator figures out that it's not Stanley playing; it's actually you, the literal player in front of the screen.

Once he realizes this, he'll show you an educational video on how to make choices that better suit the needs of the story rather than being so reckless.

4 Ruining The Narrator's Story

“I have to shut the game down. I have to.”

If you're truly stubborn and just keep ruining the narrator's story path he'd like you to take, you'll eventually start breaking the game entirely. The office will begin to glitch with furniture phasing into the walls and the floor and text going places it's not supposed to go.

This will leave the narrator with no choice but to restart your game for you to try and fix the problem. And it doesn't. Congratulations, you've broken the game.

3 Spoiler Alert

“From here it’s… um… left. Oh wait, it’s to the right. My mistake. No no no, wait not the right!”

Once you've broken the game, the narrator will officially be as lost as you are. He'll start talking like an IT tech guy who doesn't know how to fix your computer any more than you do.

Ultimately, he'll accidentally end up leading you into a room with a big spoiler that you weren't supposed to see until the end of the game. It's hilarious hearing him fumble and ask you to close your eyes to avoid seeing one of the game's big reveals too early – especially if you really hadn't seen the spoiler before.

2 Finding The Story

“Well I’ll be honest, I don’t recognize this place at all. Is this the story? I don’t think so.”

While the narrator is trying to help you find the story again, you'll just keep winding up lost. You'll eventually wind up in what looks like some kind of abandoned shack.

The narrator will admit he doesn't know what's going on any more than you do. He'll keep trying to help you find your path and will eventually begin to question the nature of paths themselves, and whether or not this path is just as valid as the actual path you should have taken. Very interesting and funny at the same time.

1 The Fern Of Great Importance

“Go back and look at that fern. Stanley, this fern will be very important later in the story. Make sure you study it closely and remember it carefully.”

Down one of the game's many branching story paths, the narrator will eventually have you follow an "adventure line," which will keep you from getting off course. He'll have you turn around at a certain point to study what is apparently an extremely important fern.

You need to memorize its every detail.

Except that the fern never actually shows up in the story again, and the narrator's probably just messing with you.

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