We all loved Lechonk when it was revealed, right? And we all definitely have a favourite Pokemon. So why do so many of us eat the real-world equivalents of our fav 'mons? Well, in the interest of fairness, we're mixing it up this week – what Pokemon do you think tastes the best?
From Quaxly to Muk (yes, really), here are all the Pokemon we'd love to eat.
Magikarp
Rhiannon Bevan, News Editor
Once upon a time, I was a vegetarian. Then I had enough of not getting any fish from the chippy, and decided they don’t count. Everyone thinks fish is veggie friendly anyway. Funny enough, this was around the time that child me looked at a Magikarp in Pokemon Pearl and thought it would taste delicious. I couldn’t get over the thought of having one battered with some curry sauce on the side. And honestly? I still can’t. Can’t help being British, innit.
Machamp
James Troughton, Photo/News Ed
Machamp is probably the closest thing to a human, so it’s probably the closest thing you can get to ‘ethical’ cannibalism in the Pokemon universe. So grab your fork and knife, slap a Machamp down onto the table, dish out the plates, and get carving. It’s time to maCHOMP on some biceps.
Tsareena
Stacey Henley, Editor-in-Chief
First off, let me apologise on behalf of the site for that weird as fuck answer above. Ethical cannibalism? Eating the one that looks most like a human in a world full of dogs made of bread? I reckon he needs to be put on a watchlist. Anyway, my pick is the mangosteen queen herself, Tsareena. Sweet, juicy, delicious mangosteen – the perfect breakfast.
Quaxly
Justin Reeve, News Editor
I’m pretty passionate about my poultry. I mean, who doesn’t love deep-fried chicken or a nice turkey leg? The absolute best thing in my personal opinion however is duck, so it should come as no surprise that in so far as I’m concerned, the best tasting Pokemon would be Quaxly. Imagine the possibilities. Braised Quaxly. Confit Quaxly. Supposing that we’re able to splurge, I’d go for Peking Quaxly just about any day of the week. Well, what do you know, time for dinner!
Smoliv
Harry Alston, Specialist Writer
Smoliv! Maybe Cherubi? But its face is pretty cute, so I’m not sure. I’m a vegetarian so I wouldn’t eat any of the animals even though they might be delectable. Does it count if it’s a Pokemon? I’m not sure what’s canon in the Poke universe.
Charizard
Quinton O’Connor, Specialist Writer
You know what? Charizard. People have primed this thing’s meat for decades. It’s been trained, through social media algorithms, corporate marketing spend, and relentless anime fanservice segments, to believe in its own hype. Everyone knows scared animals taste worse than comfortable ones. Charizard lives high on the hog. It will never think, for an instant, that someone would want to eat it. Sneak up on this sucker. Take it down. Devour.
Lugia
Ben Sledge, Features Editor
There are loads of edible Pokemon. You want some flame-grilled Emboar chops or a prime slice of Ribeye Tauros? You do you. But if I’m eating a Pokemon, I want to eat something weird. Something exotic. Something that tastes like nothing on this planet, something that tastes like pure, distilled Pokemon. I could take a bite of the first Pokemon ever designed, Rhydon, but I fear I’d break my tooth. I could have a nibble on Arceus, the God of all Pokemon, but I kinda worry that it would send me back in time on some weird-ass mission. Get to the point? You get to the point. Fine. I’m eating Lugia, for no other reason than I want to know what it’s like. It’s a top-tier Legendary that wouldn’t taste of steel or gravel or something, and if I wanna eat a Pokemon it’s gonna be a good one. Mew’s off the cards on account of being completely adorable, and Lugia is the next most Pokemonny Legendary Pokemon in my mind.
Tauros
Vaspaan Dastoor, News and Evergreen Editor
I don't know anything about Pokemon. Whenever there's a new Pokemon announcement, it's all that everyone talks about – those damn animals in their damn balls. That being said, Tauros, because steak.
Muk
Joe Parlock, Tabletop Editor
Muk. I’d eat it and then die. Win/win.
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