It's been a long time coming, but the Kirby series is finally moving into the 21st century, introducing a new mechanic that is sure to change the face of the series forever. Oh, you thought I was talking about its move to 3D? Nope. I'm talking about Mouthful Mode.
This gameplay feature, set to be introduced in Kirby And The Forgotten Land, allows Kirby to swallow inanimate objects – like an entire car – to change his shape and gain unique powers. And sure, Carby is cool, but why stop there? Nintendo can do better, and here's the list to prove it.
10 A Smartphone
Look, if Kirby's going to inhale a car with a functioning combustion engine, he can definitely inhale a battery-powered smartphone, and you cannot tell me that your normal phone wouldn't be better if it was a Kirbyphone.
His touchscreen could be in the place where his mouth is. He could use the speakerphone to amplify sound and attack enemies or download different applications to gain new abilities. Or he could just spend his time playing Genshin Impact. Either way works.
9 A Guitar
Canonically speaking, Kirby is a terrible singer. He's so bad, in fact, that by using the "Mike" copy ability in the games he can actually destroy every enemy onscreen. Meanwhile, the anime series Kirby: Right Back At Ya demonstrated that his voice can destroy King Dedede's palatial castle with its sheer destructive power. This seems unfair.
Everyone, human and puffball alike, should be able to play music without fear of accidentally murdering their loved ones. So instead of forcing him to sing, why not let Kirby inhale a guitar instead? Despite his cute appearance, he could probably shred on "Through The Fire And Flames."
8 The Keyblade
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Supposedly, Kirby isn't worthy to wield a Keyblade, and honestly… I agree. He's very lovable, but his destructive power is incomprehensible to us mere mortals. We should be mature enough to realize that sometimes our most beloved friends/video game icons are bad peopl-… uh, puffballs.
But if Kirby were to inhale the Keyblade, he wouldn't be wielding it per se. He'd just turn into a pink Keyblade-shaped version of himself. The question then becomes: is Sora's heart tainted enough to wield the Kirblade?
7 A Pair Of Noise-Cancelling Headphones
This one is purely selfish. I need a good pair of headphones, and I need them to be Kirby-themed, because how cute would that be? Extremely cute. But if Kirby could inhale a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, just think of the puzzles that could be solved.
Maybe he needs to help certain creatures get to sleep in order to access new areas, or plays music for an ally to jam out to and release an extra-powerful sound wave attack. Plus, just imagine Kirby as a walking pair of over-ear headphones. Literally the cutest!
6 A Cast-Iron Pan
One of Kirby's cutest copy abilities is Cook, which was introduced in the fan-favorite Kirby Super Star. To use it, the pink puffball dons a chef's hat and summons a giant pot into which he tosses enemies, turning them into nutritious and healing food.
But why stop there? Instead of just having Kirby use cookware, why not have Kirby become cookware? It would cut out an extra step and really let you… turn up the heat on enemies, sorry not sorry. You could also use it to whack foes in the face. Plus, a well-seasoned cast-iron would take Kirby's cooking to the next level.
5 A Tacky Christmas Sweater
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Despite his power, Kirby is cute and cuddly. Despite their… lack of fashion and general scratchiness, tacky Christmas sweaters are fuzzy and comforting. This is obviously a match made in heaven. You can use the scratchiness of the sweater to hurt enemies, or warm them up, depending on the situation.
And if you're telling me you wouldn't wear a pink puffball pullover while opening presents on Christmas morning, I don't want to know you and you have no soul. Sorry, that's just fact.
4 A Gamecube Controller
Kirby is widely adored but perhaps the only thing more widely beloved is the original Gamecube controller. Though we're now three console generations removed from the purple box's heyday, gamers everywhere remain united in their appreciation for the controller's pressure-sensitive shoulder buttons and delightfully clicky analog stick.
The D-pad is admittedly not great, but given that Kirby And The Forgotten Land is in full 3D, it's not like he'd need it. Consider this possible power-up a kind of atonement for Nintendo completely forgetting about Kirby's Air Ride.
3 A Knife
Aside from Carby, another of Kirby And The Forgotten Land's Mouthful abilities is Cone Kirby (Coneby?). In this mode, Kirby swallows a traffic cone and uses his pointy end to smash holes in breakable objects or attack enemies. That's… cool, but it seems a little convoluted – wouldn't Cone Kirby just direct traffic?
Nintendo, you already gave Kirby a gun, so let him be a knife. It's a lot more useful, and he could combine it with his cast-iron pan inhalation and become a working kitchen.
2 A Human Skull
Throughout the annals of time, one question has weighed on gamers of all persuasions: what on Earth is Kirby? Given the pink puffball's ability to swallow literally anything – and, as Mouthful Mode demonstrates, his ability to morph his form around different objects – it's clear that Kirby lacks the structures living things usually need, like bones.
So Nintendo should let him inhale a human skull so that we know what he would look like if he were, like, a normal person. Since Kirby And The Forgotten Land is seemingly set in the post-apocalypse, there's bound to be a few just waiting around.
1 A Nintendo Switch
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Kirby And The Forgotten Land is coming to the Nintendo Switch… ergo, Kirby should just break the fourth wall and inhale a Switch. He could use it to entertain the Waddle Dees, to finally finish Breath Of The Wild, or distract enemies. He could even get his own meta-game series with it, the way that WarioWare is a meta-commentary on Nintendo's history.
Look, this list is profoundly silly, but so is Mouthful Mode. The entire Kirby series, in fact, is like a goofy, lovable ice cream sundae – and giving him a Switch would be the cherry on top. Make it happen, Nintendo!
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