Who Let eFootball Into The 2022 Commonwealth Games?

I’m not quite sure why everyone thought Konami’s eFootball was going to be a ‘FIFA killer’. Perhaps players were just jaded with year after year of surprise mechanics and annoying updates in the EA title. Perhaps people were hoping for a return to the PES of their childhood, rather than the disappointing titles the series had produced in more recent years. Either way, we all know what happened when eFootball actually released. So why is it in the Commonwealth Games?

A quick reminder if you’ve somehow forgotten about eFootball’s release: it was fucked. The game had more bugs than Cyberpunk, players looked like hideous hall-of-mirrors reflections of the stars they represented. Lionel Messi’s face looked like it had shrunk in the wash but his head stayed the same size. Cristiano Ronaldo suffered a more painful fate, as someone at Konami had put his facial features in a blender.

It wasn’t just the looks, legs elongated like Stretch Armstrong to get on the end of misplaced crosses, and necks practically snapped when players went in for tackles. Why their necks? I don’t know, but players’ heads sure as hell aren’t meant to twist 270 degrees. Anyway, the game was a mess. So again I ask, why is it in the Commonwealth Games? (What’s that? It’s technically called the Commonwealth Esports Championships? Fine.)

Okay, eFootball is less buggy now. I assume. I can’t say I gave it another shot myself, but I feel like I would have heard if it was still unplayable this long after release. But still, it’s hardly a game that’s going to bring audiences flocking to Birmingham this summer. It also seems incredibly out of place with the other esports titles included in the games. Dota 2 is one of the biggest esports in the world. Rocket League has an established esports scene and is incredibly fun to watch. eFootball? Why?

Let’s think about this logically. Perhaps the people in charge of the Commonwealth Esports Championships feel like they need a sporty game to attract viewers who wouldn’t tune in to watch Counter-Strike or League of Legends. And I get that, my parents don’t have a clue what esports are and it’s a large part of my job to report on them. My mam calls it e-gaming. She’s not going to watch the Commonwealth Esports Championships. However, she likes football. If she was channel surfing or had heard about a virtual football competition as a part of the Commonwealth Games, she might tune in to see what it’s all about.

In that case, why not FIFA? It’s by far the bigger game, and has a far more established esports scene. If you’ve even glanced at virtual football esports the names you’ll have heard of will be FIFA players rather than eFootball players. Donovan ‘Tekkz’ Hunt is by no means a household name, but he’s one of the most recognisable esports players on the planet. Will he compete in the Commonwealth Esports Championships? No. Because it’ll be played on eFootball, not FIFA.

But does the Commonwealth Esports Championships have the potential to create new stars, the next Tekkz, the Lee ‘Faker’ Sang-hyeok of eFootball? Also no. First of all Faker is Korean, and therefore his eFootball counterpart would not be eligible to participate in a set of games for former British colonies and allies, but also this isn’t that big of a deal. We don’t know what the prize pools are, but I’m inclined to believe that a gold medal will replace most monetary compensation. Players will be playing for glory and national pride rather than a wad of cash, which is not the greatest incentive when The International, the biggest Dota 2 esports tournament, boasted $40 million in prizes in 2021.

I’d play in the Commonwealth Esports Championships if they included, like, amateur Apex Legends or Pokemon Go or something. But that’s because I’m not good enough to compete in actual competitions. I am always playing for pride (and sometimes Ranked Points), so a gold medal (or, more realistically, bronze) would be a bonus. For actual esports athletes, pride and a medal might not be enough.

FIFA would lend the Commonwealth Esports Championships more credibility, and eFootball will not create the next generation of esports stars, so… Why is it here? Did EA command too high a price to use FIFA in the competition? Does the Commonwealth committee even pay to use games? Surely not. Does it come straight out of the Queen of England’s purse like her childrens’ lawsuits? I don’t know how it works, and I don’t think I’ll ever know. But that just makes eFootball’s inclusion ever stranger. The Commonwealth Esports Championships just picked eFootball. And picked it not only over FIFA, but also League of Legends, Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, or Fortnite. It’s baffling. Will I tune in this summer? Probably not. Would I have tuned in were it FIFA instead? Also no, because FIFA esports are dull as hell, but I might at least have considered it.

I don’t understand why the Commonwealth Esports Championships wanted any football video games in its inaugural competition, as they are all a bit boring to watch (sorry to the 23 hardcore FIFA esports fans out there). I think a likely answer is that the organisers have little knowledge of esports or why they are popular, but a lot of knowledge about regular sporting competitions. They Googled the biggest esport and found Dota 2. They saw carball and put Rocket League in because it looks rad as hell and the esport is super fun. Then they thought ‘oh yeah let’s put a football one in.’

Football esports are boring, whether it’s FIFA or eFootball or anything else. If you want a wide range of esports then pick a shooter like Counter-Strike or a battle royale like Fortnite. If you want something that links to the regular Commonwealth Games then pick Windjammers or Wii Sports or Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games. That last one might confuse things, but you get the point. Include sports games that focus on the games, not the sports. Despite my protests, eFootball will go down as one of the three esports played in the first ever Commonwealth Esports Championships. We will have a gold medal-winning eFootball player. And good for them, I hope they enjoy themself. But I don’t think I’ll be tuning in.

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