Maybe you’ve seen that viral clip where an Animal Crossing: New Horizons start screen shows poor Dom, trapped at the front of his house as a sea of snapping turtles spills into the distance. As it turns out, this wasn’t a one-off bout of hijinks. The player who owns an army of turtles has since been using them to do unspeakable things to their villagers.
Fan @miltank211, whose love of turtles predates Animal Crossing, has got capturing the freshwater animal down to a science — which might explain why the Twitter user has so many of them. This horde of turtles are being used against the entire village, from the looks of it.
Consider the image above. How @miltank211 managed to get everyone in bed in the first place, I have no idea. But this is just the start of what is, frankly, a staggeringly creative use of Animal Crossing’s placeable turtles.
In @miltank221’s experiments with turtles, the player discovered that villagers will sometimes try running away when dangerous creatures, like scorpions, are nearby:
This led to the creation of snapping turtle race tracks, where villagers are set to run around in circles in an attempt to escape:
But then @miltank211 took this one step further and started making villagers race one another by confining them with turtles while a predator is nearby. It seems that, in order for this to work, the player needs to have a fairly empty piece of land, which may prompt a scorpion or tarantula to spawn in the first place.
The tracks have only gotten more elaborate, with this one ending on a pitfall trap.
Of course, even within this fuckery, there’s still even more granular ways to mess with trapped villagers confined in this snapping turtle hell:
I don’t know how people come up with these things, but I can say one thing for certain: Every day we stray further from god’s light.
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