Everything you need to know about Wario

It’s often said that Wario is an enigma. Who says that? That’s not one of the questions we’re here to answer.

It’s Wario Month here at Wariogon, and there are some burning questions out there about Wario. While he’s certainly the loudest and proudest of the overall-wearing citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom, there are some common misconceptions about him.

Let’s dive into the things you need to know ahead of our month celebrating the gold and garlic-loving prince of video games (and farts).

Where did Wario come from?

Wario’s first appearance was Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins on the Game Boy. He served as the game’s primary antagonist, and he was reportedly born out of one Nintendo team’s frustration over making a game based on a different team’s protagonist.

Thus Wario, envisioned by creator Hiroji Kiyotake as “the Bluto to Mario’s Popeye,” was born. Wario went on to take over the Land series, dubbing it Wario Land. Most notably, Wario joined the ever-growing roster of Mushroom Kingdom denizens to golf, kart, and party with Mario and his friends. He eventually opened WarioWare to make his own video games, and he even starred in his own 3D platform on the Nintendo GameCube, Wario World, but we don’t talk about that.

Are Wario and Mario related?

Growing up, I remember hearing playground rumors about Wario. (Clearly, I had a lot going on during second grade.) The most popular one was that Wario and Mario were cousins. But that’s not the case. Wario and Mario were actually just childhood rivals, and the two share no blood relation.

Are Wario and Waluigi related?

So, Mario and Wario aren’t cousins, but surely Waluigi is Wario’s brother? No, thank god.

Wario was the original “Wa” inhabitant of the Mushroom Kingdom, showing up as a villain for Mario in 1992. Waluigi, on the other hand, is an absolute creep who only exists so Wario could have a duos partner in tennis. None of that is a joke.

An issue of Nintendo Power — cataloged last year on Twitter — revealed that Waluigi is just some goober that Wario hired. Waluigi isn’t even his real name. Wario apparently searched an internet actor pool and hired Jimmy Poppadopolos to act like his duo partner and be a foil for Luigi. Waluigi has since legally changed his name. Seriously.

Is Wario a bad guy?

This question has a pretty complex answer. Wario isn’t the main villain of the series, to be sure. But even Bowser, who trumps Wario in sheer villainy, is more of an antagonist than a villain. Bowser is a good dad who even occasionally acts in a more comedic role for story-based Mario titles like the Mario & Luigi games or Paper Mario. In many cases, Bowser is more of a frenemy than an antagonist. And with how much Bowser, Wario, Mario, and the rest of the gang hang out while playing sports and driving, I’m not sure you could even call Bowser a bad guy.

With Wario clearly in a lower “bad guy” tier than Bowser, I think it’s safe to downgrade him from villain to jerk.

Does Wario have IBS?

You’d think so, but I’d guess no.

You’ll find surprisingly little if you type “Wario” and “IBS” (irritable bowel syndrome) into Google, so I’ll just say this from the heart: Wario’s farts are weaponized and on demand. It is, in fact, crueler if he doesn’t have IBS and has instead just cultivated his body to be an unnatural fart machine. A weapon of gas destruction, if you will.

Is Wario Italian?

Another question that’s surprisingly complex to answer.

Wario is Italian now, but he wasn’t always. Wario’s original voice actor was German translator Thomas Spindler, and his line that sounds like “oh, I missed!” is actually “So ein Mist!” which is German for “oh crap!” On brand for Wario. Spindler said Wario was always envisioned as German.

However, outside of his Mario Strikers Charged theme song — which has a German folk song vibe — Wario is largely viewed as Italian. The shift seems to have happened as soon as Charles Martinet, Mario’s voice actor, took over the role. The Wario we hear today speaks more than any of Martinet’s other characters and in an even thicker Italian accent than Mario.

Does Wario fuck?

Image: Sora Ltd./Bandai Namco/Nintendo

Maybe?

In a Nintendo Power issue from 2000, the magazine asked producer Hiroyuki Takahashi if Wario had his own partner the way Mario and Luigi have Peach and Daisy. Mario’s creator, Shigeru Miyamoto told the producer that he didn’t want to see whatever girlfriends Wario and Waluigi would find for themselves.

However, the same Nintendo Power blog that outs Waluigi as Jimmy Poppadopolos also suggests that Wario and Waluigi may have had a budding romance. The article does say that as of Mario Kart Double Dash the two have “parted ways physically,” which is perhaps the worst imaginable way to put that.

So, if Wario does fuck, he probably fucks Waluigi. Do with that information what you will.

Is Wario … a Libertarian?

If you google Wario, as I often do, you’ve probably run into this auto-complete, asking if Wario considers himself a member of the Libertarian political party.

This is actually not a sincere question, but instead an old school Twitter meme from 2011.

But in service of this FAQ: No, Wario is not a Libertarian. Wario clearly doesn’t believe in or understand government, otherwise he would have run for office at this point.

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